Imperial Life In The Emerald City

... by Rajiv Chandrasekaran.

      The only epithet that comes to mind after reading this is : surreal. A report form inside the Green Zone, the general quarters selected by the American during their occupation of Iraq. The "behind the curtains" of an invasion by a bunch of guys who thought they were competent when obviously they didn't live on the same planet as the rest of the world, in this case, a destroyed country occupied by themselves. It is so incredible from end to end you'd think it's a comedy scenario, except it involves too many deaths on every side to be funny.

( in the british housing compound ) :

"a handwritten sign admonished YEE-HAW IS NOT A FOREIGN POLICY"

(p.208)

"The Green Zone, Scene XI :

     About a month before the handover of sovereignty, Joshua Paul, a young CPA* staffer, typed up a joke on his computer (...). In less than a week, almost everyone in the Green Zone had seen it.

     Question : Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road ?

      CPA : The fact that the chicken crossed the road shows that decision-making authority has switched tot he chicken in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on, the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton : We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost $326,004.

Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr : The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

US Army Military Police : We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken-rights violations.

Pershmerga : The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in the future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

Al-Jazeera : The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

(Secret services) : We cannot confirm or deny any involvement int the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators : Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.»

(pp.249-250)
       * what could be said to be the civil command of the american occupation in Iraq.

      «A USAID colleague called him (Burkle) the «single most talented and experienced post-conflict health specialist working for the United States government». A week after Baghdad’s liberation, Burkle was informed that he was being replaced. A senior official at USAID told him that the White House wanted a «loyalist» in the job. Burkle had a wall of degrees, but he didn’t have a picture of himself with the president.»

(p.212)