During this university year I'm discovering new things about myself :
1 - that a man can actually have an effect on me with just words and nothing else - nothing else because a lot of details and facts render the mere thought of a relationship with him something pretty much scandalous (and this is when I discover I don't have that many moral standards, if he goes on with his word magic I don't exaclty know where I would find any reason to resist), and
2 - that when it comes to sentimental matters it becomes quite impossible to express myself in my mother tongue ... I.e when answering his mails, I comment everything to myself in english, and my thoughts switch to english. Impossible to think and talk easily in french. That explains also why I have been trying to write stuff in french (in the perspective of writing a novel or something) and it always get stuck when it comes to the characters' intimacy or sentimental thoughts. And why writing in english is much easier, even if I don't master all the vocabulary nuances and shades ...
So I wonder which language I should use : forcing myself writing in french, however awkwardly, or doing it in english, however poorly ? All that nothing compared to my ultimate goal : writing in arabic, which seem at the moment quite impossible, above the pitiful student copies that we're asked to do ...
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